By Tyvon Foster
You know it. I know it. Relationships are hard work. It seems like it should be simple. I mean, how can something as blissful as intimacy, be so exhausting and in worse case scenarios, abusive? The reality is, relationships are an amalgam of constant and cognizant commitment, learning and respecting each others histories, and of course acceptance. However, relationships really become challenging and unhealthy when one or the other (or both) in the relationship lacks understanding their self. As the expression goes “how can you love someone else, if you don’t love yourself?”
If you want to have a successful relationship, both parties must get to know who they truly are; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Without this knowledge, it would prove to become nearly impossible, breaking tooth and nail to come to resolutions. How can you communicate your needs when you lack insight into what or why your partners behaviors impact you negatively? How can your partner properly address any transgressions if you do not effectively and assertively communicate emotional responses? How can your partner respect your feelings by avoiding certain behaviors that cause psychological distress if you do not fully comprehend the extent of your trauma? I think you get the picture.
One of the most fundamental principles to have a meaningful life in all aspects is to really know who you are. Spend quality time getting to you know yourself. Go have an adventure (nothing too dangerous but still thrilling). Explore new interests and hobbies. Meet new people. Explore unfamiliar territory literally and metaphorically. Be introspective. Tell the truth. Immerse yourself in your proclivities. The bottom line is, once you get more clarity on who you are, your relationship will have the ability to properly manifest itself to be loving and enduring because, at that point, both you and your partner can begin to work honestly together without any blindfolds.