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I was set up by a professional matchmaker and here’s what happened:


After reading the matchmaker blog article on the Refresh website ( I was intrigued. I did some investigative work and once I realized how much hiring a matchmaker costs (think $9,000+) I decided to do the next best thing. I added myself to two matchmaker databases. I received emails from two matchmakers who worked for the same company but assumed they wanted me to pay the exorbitant fees so did not respond.

It was only when I received an email with the subject line ‘about a male client of mine’ did I open it and discover they wanted to set me up with one of their clients. They included a picture and he was not my usual go-to type but looked like a nice guy, had a solid job, and due to the fact that he hired a matchmaker, was clearly not the type to write ‘not looking for anything serious’ on his dating app profile. He wanted to settle down and start a family. In other words: a promising possibility. I talked to my mom about it and she convinced me to go for it. I responded to the matchmaker’s email agreeing to meet this client.

However, there was an intensive screening process first. I agreed to speak with the matchmaker who sent me the email. She wanted to get on the phone right away. We spoke for 45 minutes. In a very friendly fashion, she grilled me about every single aspect of my life plus things I hadn’t even thought about such as the exact reasons why I’m single. I couldn’t help but think this was reminiscent of an intake session with a therapist. And indeed she had a background in counseling. The matchmaker was apparently satisfied enough with my answers to request we meet in person (no doubt so she could give me a once over to determine if I looked like my pictures). I met her later on that same day for a brief chat in person. We grabbed coffee and meandered around the garment district in and out of plant shops. At the end of the half hour, she asked me to send her more photos and ones that include my full body. I did so that night. She replied to my email right away to tell me she would forward my phone number to her client so he could reach out himself.

The following day I received a very effusive and enthusiastic text message from the client. He was an excellent texter. After some friendly back and forth, he asked me to dinner. He was flexible enough to meet me in my neighborhood and sent me the restaurant to make sure I approved before making the reservation.

The day we were supposed to meet, it was snowing heavily. Despite this, he was early to the restaurant, texting me when he arrived. I must admit—I was nervous as I headed towards the date.

Once inside the restaurant, I found him right where he said he’d be in a table by the window. Within the first 5 seconds I determined that I was not attracted to him, but being that he came out to meet me in a snowstorm, and had been nothing but lovely in every communication, I put my best foot forward.

He told me all about his background and coming to the US at 21 years old. His accent at times made it difficult to understand him and his English wasn’t perfect but imagining myself speaking any other language on a first date, I couldn’t do half as well as him. He had an interesting job that he told me all about. He asked about my job, my passions, and what I do for enjoyment. We had a very nice dinner, staying out for two hours.

The one caveat that the matchmaker had determined was likely the main reason why I remain single (or one of the reasons) prevented this from being a successful match: he does not want to settle down in NYC. His family all live in California and he ultimately plans to move there in the next few years. He did say if he met the right person he could be persuaded to stay in NYC but I am looking for someone who loves this place as wholeheartedly as I do and can’t begin to imagine their life anywhere else.

The next day I received a text from the matchmaker excitedly informing me that he would like to see me again and asking for my feedback. I told her the reason I was hesitant to pursue seeing him but did say I would go out with him again.

He reached out and after carefully thinking it over, I decided it best not to continue seeing him as it wouldn’t be fair to waste either one of our precious time. I sent him a kind text message informing him of this and wishing him all the best.

In short: it was a fascinating experience and I may be set up again by the matchmaker. We’ll see if she reaches out about another client or if my rejection of this client means I’m blacklisted from the company.

As for now, I will continue to be on the lookout for myself, utilizing the dating apps and having friends set me up the more typical way.