Dating in 2019
By Chianne Green
Dating in 2019 can feel like a full-time job, it’s extremely difficult, draining, and time consuming. You go to all the parties, beer gardens, rooftop bars, and summer festivals New York City has to offer, but you’re still having a hard time meeting your ideal partner. You try dating apps like Henge, Bumble, OkCupid and The League but you’re not having much luck. It starts to become a cycle of swiping left and right to meet potential matches to seemingly be disappointed after the first date, lack of connection or longevity. You may start to think it’s a reflection of you but it’s not. The lack of progress can bring feelings of loneliness and sadness. It can also reinforce the fear of singleness and not being able to share your life with someone else. One thing you do not want to do in moments you feel like this is begin to settle for someone. What does it mean to settle? It means to choose someone you truly do not want to be with but ultimately choose them out of the fear of not finding someone you would truly make you happy. You may not want to hear this but a relationship will happen on it’s own time when you least expect it and it will be everything you imagined and hoped for. Have you ever thought why you want to date? Why is it important to have a partner now?
What’s the rush?
Social media impacts our lives in many aspects whether we realize it or not. It influences where we travel, where we go to eat, and ultimately the pictures and videos we post because, we want the most likes so we can be at the top of our friend’s feeds. When you scroll through Instagram, Facebook, and watch videos on Snapchat everyone appears ‘boo’d up’ with the hashtags #couplegoals and #baecation. Every picture is picture perfect and taken at the right angle with the perfect filter to match. Do not be fooled. Not every picture is filled with bliss as it appears and as you may think. In 2019 everyone lives their lives on and for social media. People tend paint their lives as perfect and happy all the time but remember, people only post the highlight reel, never the break ups and break downs. Social media can influence our wants and desires in addition to our motivation behind our wants and desires. I say this because it is important to acknowledge and understand why we want the things that we do. When it comes to dating, do you want a partner out of genuine interest? Do you feel like you have something to prove? Or do you want a partner to post pictures on social media? to brag to friends and followers for likes and comments. If you’re dating to appease everyone else your relationship is not going to sustain.
Are you ready?
Social media only shows the glitz and glamour of a relationship. It does not show the work, compromise, and dedication it takes to maintain a relationship because those factors aren’t always pretty. Most people expect a relationship to work because both individuals like each other, but it takes more than emotions for a relationship to sustain and thrive. Before you start dating, have you taken the time to think about yourself? Are you where you want to be professionally and personally? Have you accomplished your goals? Do you have time to date or maintain a relationship? These things are important to think about when you start to date and start to incorporate someone into your life. You want to have a strong sense of self before you begin to take on anyone else.